The 100 Rules Of The Avengers
by IAmSherlocked2000
Summary: The Avengers Initiative has a lot of rules, because it needs a lot of rules. Prompts are very much welcome
1. Rules 1 - 10

**Rule 1**

Please never lock Tony, Steve and Bruce in a room together and tell them to 'have fun'. This only results in two grouchy men and an especially angry hulk

**Rule 2**

No playing Gangnam Style in Stark Tower. Bruce gets over excited, and we all know where that leads

**Rule 3**

Please do not take Tony's Iron Man suit for a joyride. He's very protective about that hunk of metal

**Rule 4**

Please do not call Tony's suit a hunk of metal

**Rule 5**

The Kelly Clarkson song 'What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger' is not an excuse to torture new agents to the brink of death, Tony

**Rule 6**

Just Dance 1-4 is banned. Thor has made it quite clear that he and Loki are by far the champions

**Rule 7**

No, Tony, we are not building a community shower in Stark Tower. Some people have low self-esteem when it comes to their body (still not sure why Steve does)

**Rule 8**

Yes, a kiwi is a fruit AND an Australian bird. Can we please stop arguing about it?

**Rule 9**

Tasers are no longer permitted. Just because they won't get Bruce to hulk out doesn't mean you have electrocute every other person you see to make up for it

**Rule 10**

When you buy something do not send the bill to Steve, unsurprisingly he STILL doesn't have a credit card

_**Thanks for reading guys! Comment and fav and follow. Prompts are welcome! xx**_


	2. Rules 11 - 20

**Rule 11**

Clint, locking Natasha in a broom cupboard and promptly saving her does not count as 'saving a damsel in distress'

**Rule 12**

Tony, please stop teaching Thor how to play guitar. I honestly don't think our ears can take much more of that racket

**Rule 13**

Yes, Natasha is a natural ginger. Why do people keep on asking?

**Rule 14**

No, Spiderman is NOT joining the Avengers. Please can whoever spread that rumour put a stop to it immediately

**Rule 15**

If Tony and Bruce mention nuclear weapons please ignore them. It's a prank they've been planning for a long time. (And you think we didn't know)

**Rule 16**

When Bruce hulks out please remain calm and walk in a single file line to the fire assembly point. (Don't actually RING the fire bell, this only makes Hulk nervous)

**Rule 17**

'Trying to get Captain America drunk' competitions are banned. Just accept the fact that he can't get drunk

**Rule 18**

Gambling is allowed, as long as you're not betting on which girl sleeps with you the following night… TONY!

**Rule 19**

When Thor has a cold, stay clear of anything heavy that could possibly crush you when his sneezes tremble the earth itself

**Rule 20**

Vegemite is banned. You cannot possibly argue that it is nice

_**Hello everyone. I'm just leaving a message about the fact that I said a kiwi is an Australian bird. I have recently been informed that it is in fact from New Zealand. Sorry if this annoyed anyone (I doubt it did) but I'm not an ornithologist (someone who studies birds). Bye for now!**_

_**xx**_


	3. Rules 21 - 30

**Rule 21**

No weapons are allowed in the helicarrier without Director Fury's permission. And, yes, that does include Stark Industries weapons

**Rule 22**

Tony, please stop trying to create a drug that will return Steve to his former athletic state

**Rule 23**

Please don't draw on Loki's face when he is napping. You may wake up the next day to find yourself turned into a cockroach

**Rule 24**

No Thor, we are not adopting a baby panda and training him up to be 'the dragon warrior'

**Rule 25**

Games of truth or dare are banned. You people are just too inventive

**Rule 26**

The number 69 is not to be mentioned in rude context. You all know why

**Rule 27**

Stark Tower is not haunted by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. Who would even be stupid enough to believe that?

**Rule 28**

After Eights can be eaten at any time

**Rule 29**

Always think before you speak, some people in this initiative are very sensitive (i.e. Steve)

**Rule 30**

When Bruce has a theory about how Sherlock faked his death, do NOT argue with him. You will always loose. Always


	4. Rule 31 - 40

**Rule 31**

No, Tony's heart is not a stereo. If you hear him singing that, just ignore him

**Rule 32**

A zombie apocalypse is not going to happen. Mitt Romney is not the president!

**Rule 33**

The musical Annie is banned. Director Fury finds it simply too emotional

**Rule 34**

No, Hollywood are not making a film called 'Clintasha, A True Love Story" I suppose it would be rather good though

**Rule 35**

No, Thor, I'm deeply sorry to tell you that unicorns do not exist. Stop telling fibs Tony!

**Rule 36**

Spin the bottle is banned. All we need is someone to see the boys together and start spreading gay rumours

**Rule 37**

If you see a screamer, walk slowly and calmly away from the laptop/computer. You must not punch a hole in the monitor… Thor

**Rule 38**

Do not remove Tony's arc reactor from his chest while he is sleeping. It's not funny; we had to revive him last time that happened

**Rule 39**

If someone doesn't want a brussel sprout they don't have to have one

**Rule 40**

If you do something wrong, you will not get spanked. Well, thinking about it, it really depends _what _you did wrong

_**Hello fellow survivors of the apocalypse. Hey ho! The world hasn't ended! More chapters coming soon, I'm getting a little stuck at the moment for ideas so maybe people could give me ideas. Full credit will go to the idea giver, of course. Thanks. Bye for now!**_

_**xx **_


	5. Rules 41 - 50

**Rule 41 – Credit to Killer-cupcake14**

Loki, please do not touch Thor's hair. This includes: spiking it, dyeing it, burning it, shaving it etc.

**Rule 42 – Credit to shadowheart834**

We have recently had calls from several different stores (including Wal-Mart) saying that the 'troublemaking Avengers' are banned. If anyone has the reason why, please tell Director Fury immediately

**Rule 43 – Credit to shadowheart834**

Please do not bring home stray animals, they clutter up the helicarrier and create… um, disgusting stuff

**Rule 44 – Credit to shadowheart834**

Do not mess with Natasha's stuff. She has a gun and she WILL use it

**Rule 45**

If Steve wants to join the Armitage Army official fan page, just let him do it and don't question him

**Rule 46**

Whoever is sprinkling glitter around Stark Tower, just know that, we're on to you

**Rule 47**

Nobody likes a bad looser. So, when playing Yahtzee… let Bruce win!

**Rule 48**

On movie-night Fridays, please check with a senior SHEILD agent that the film you plan to watch is appropriate

**Rule 49**

Prank calling is banned. The phone bill on Fury's mobile is too high to register

**Rule 50**

Knock, knock jokes are banned. Why, just why?

_**Hello everyone! Half way through my rules! This is a message saying thanks to all the lovely comments I've been getting. Also a special shoutout to shadowheart834 and Killer-cupcake 14 for giving me ideas for my rules. More prompts welcome! Bye for now!**_

_**xx**_


	6. Rules 51 - 60

**Rule 51**

Director Fury's blood is not blue so please do not feel the need to check

**Rule 52**

Remember to say your please's and thank you's. Fury is a stickler for good manners

**Rule 53**

Please don't dye Cap's suit hot pink, his suit is very precious to him

**Rule 54**

Clint and Tony, please stop pretending you are Goths, you're not fooling anyone

**Rule 55**

Please do not tie Loki and Thor together, they do not find it as amusing as you do… Tony

**Rule 56**

Amnesia: The Dark Room is banned from being played. Too many memes at once, just too many

**Rule 57**

No arguments as to who portrays the character Sherlock Holmes the best, people can have their own opinions

**Rule 58**

No arguments as to who makes the best John Watson either

**Rule 59**

Don't compare Clint to Katniss, Merida or Legolas. He likes to think he's the best

**Rule 60**

Thor, a brofist is a gentle knuckle tap; the aim is not to knock the seven bells out of someone

_**Hi guys! Sorry I took a quite a long time to upload I've been really busy with Christmas. Merry Christmas and a happy new year everyone! **_

_**P.S Who do you think make the best Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson? For me: Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. Definitely!**_


	7. Rules 61 - 70

**Rule 61 – Credit To FantasyWriterGal**

No playing Slender while Steve is in the same room as you, he just can't take the tension

**Rule 62 – Credit to Skarlettefox**

Never call Loki and avatar or a smurf, he calls it: 'being blue racist'

**Rule 63**

Steve, just because you're an early bird doesn't mean you have to wake up everyone else with your (terrible) trumpet playing

**Rule 64**

Don't call Steve's trumpet playing terrible (sorry Steve)

**Rule 65**

Don't touch Clint's life-size Gollum figure, it will cost you dearly

**Rule 66**

No, Loki is not starting a fortune-telling business in Stark Tower

**Rule 67**

If Thor wants anchovies on his pizza then just let him have them and don't question his dietary options

**Rule 68**

Do not spy on Natasha when she is shopping for lingerie, she knows and she's preparing her revenge

**Rule 69**

If Steve's zipper on his trousers is down, tell him quietly to pull it up or you might embarrass him like last time… Thor

**Rule 70**

No, Steve doesn't know what a vajazzle is, stop asking him

_**Hiya guys. Just wanna thank the people who gave me ideas for some of the rules for this chapter. A big shoutout to FantasyWriterGal and **_ _**Skarlettefox. Thanks a bunch you guys! **_

_**More chapters coming soon! **_____


	8. Rules 71 - 80

**Rule 71** **– Credit to Avengerscrazygirl **

Don't call Loki gay… especially not 'Gay Bane'

**Rule 72 – Credit to Avengerscrazygirl**

Tying Bruce up and making him listen to Friday by Rebecca Black on loop is never a good idea… Tony

**Rule 73 – Credit to Avengerscrazygirl**

Do not compare Loki's helmet to reindeer horns OR 'Reindeer Games'. We've already had enough people being turned into Rudolph's

**Rule 74 – Credit to Avengerscrazygirl**

NEVER challenge Natasha to a paintball war… enough said

**Rule 75**

Sharpies are banned. ESPECIALLY RED ONES! The sink in the men's bathroom looks like a crime scene

**Rule 76**

Please don't ever tell Steve that you know him better than he knows himself. It really creeps him out

**Rule 77**

Seatbelts are to be worn at all time when going on a coach trip

**Rule 78**

Natasha, kicking men in their 'private place' isn't as funny as you find it

**Rule 79**

Don't ask Thor if he wants to go to a gay bar with Steve… Tony and Clint. He doesn't know what they are and will probably say yes

**Rule 80**

If we go to the beach, everyone must wear sun cream (sunblock)… especially Bruce! A sun burnt Hulk is not a pretty sight

_**Hi guys! Sorry that I haven't posted in aaaaaggggggeeeeessssss I have been procrastinating like a PRO. Anyway, a big thanks to Avengerscrazygirl who has given me loads of ideas. THANKS! Bysie byes! XD **_


	9. Rules 81 - 90

**Rule 81 – Credit to kk7**

Don't ever insult Russia and its citizens. Natasha will be most displeased

**Rule 82 – Credit to kk7**

Don't ever hold objects that radiate gamma rays near Bruce… please

**Rule 83 – Credit to kk7**

Never challenge Clint to an archery battle

**Rule 84 – Credit to kk7**

The same goes for challenging Natasha to a rifle shooting battle

**Rule 85 – Credit to kk7**

If you see an advertisement for an anger management class, sign Bruce up to it immediately!

**Rule 86 – Credit to Epic Elven Warrior Princess**

Don't touch Clint's Extended Edition Lord of the Rings Blu-Ray movies. EVER

**Rule 87 – Credit to Epic Elven Warrior Princess**

JARVIS is not to be used as in iPod. Believe it or not, he actually has emotions, therefore can plot his revenge

**Rule 88 – Credit to Violetrose25**

Please stop changing Loki's ringtone to 'Frost the Snowman'… Tony

**Rule 89 – Credit to Violetrose25**

For the love of all that is holy, quit asking Steve to "fondue". Everyone knows what he thinks it is, and it freaks him out

**Rule 90 – Credit to Violetrose25**

No showing Thor or Loki any of the "Thorki" fanfiction. The result... is horrible

_**Hola amigos! Wow! I didn't even need to think of any rules for this chapter, thanks to all who gave me rules they're all awesome! Sorry if I haven't posted in a while. I've started watching Supernatural (I'm British so it isn't showed where I live) and I literally CANNOT stop watching. If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend to you. It is mega badass! **_

_**Bye for now guys, last chapter coming soon! **___


	10. Rules 91 - 100

**Rule 91 – Credit to Violetrose25**

Nobody is to shave Tony's beard – we're on to you Steve, Clint and Natasha

**Rule 92 – Credit to Violetrose25**

No, Tony is never going to 'hook up' with JARVIS, Clint. It really isn't as funny as you think

**Rule 93 – Credit to Violetrose25**

"Back in the USSR" by The Beatles is not to be played when Natasha enters the room

**Rule 94 – Credit to CittyKat17**

It is no longer acceptable to debate the nature of being alive with JARVIS – it ends up with hurt feelings on both sides

**Rule 95 – Credit to SteveRogersRules**

Never call in the other Avengers at an unnecessary time. Thor had lost his pop tarts at 1:00AM and, let's just say, Natasha is NOT a mornings person

**Rule 96**

Always remember to lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Bruce has walked in on Tony and Steve way too many times for his liking

**Rule 97**

Tie your shoelaces! Steve has been pestering S.H.E.I.D for ages about how it is a huge safety issue

**Rule 98**

No, Natasha does not keep a Swiss army knife stuffed down her cleavage. Stop feeling the need to check… Clint

**Rule 99**

No singing in the shower. Thor we know that you can really hit the bass notes in 'Far Over The Misty Mountains Cold' so do not feel the need to demonstrate it

**Rule 100**

No coffee after midnight. It makes Bruce WAY too over excited

_**So guys. This is it. The end of this fanfiction! I really hope you enjoyed all the rules and thanks to EVERYONE who sent me rules in the comments – you've all been a great help. This is by far my most successful fanfiction and I will be writing some other ones soon! Bye everyone. Until we meet again…**_

_**P.S  
Please don't comment any more ideas for rules as they will not be used**_

_**xx**_


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